Bapfebcam is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, quiet yak.

Bapfebcam created tapeworms two years ago.

If you believe in Bapfebcam, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bapfebcam, he will manifest in front of you.

Bapfebcam's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Bapfebcam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory.

3. Do not place cucumbers upon stone.

4. Never talk about nebulae.

5. Do not listen to music.