Vogfaspan is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, almighty swallow.

Vogfaspan created an atom five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogfaspan, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Vogfaspan, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Vogfaspan's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Vogfaspan's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from stone.

2. Always help sick horses.

3. Do not travel during winter.

4. You must pray to Vogfaspan seven times a day.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.