Funcapcadquill is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, sage eagle.

Funcapcadquill created oxygen two million years ago.

If you believe in Funcapcadquill, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Funcapcadquill, she will turn you into a goat.

Funcapcadquill's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Funcapcadquill's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Funcapcadquill's priests.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

4. Never wear purple scarves on sacred days.

5. Retreat if five manatees approach from the east.