Sandidlarpjarnlidxinlun is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, selfish lion.

Sandidlarpjarnlidxinlun created an atom three million years ago.

If you believe in Sandidlarpjarnlidxinlun, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sandidlarpjarnlidxinlun, he will turn you into a plant.

Sandidlarpjarnlidxinlun's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Sandidlarpjarnlidxinlun's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet tights on sacred days.

2. Birds are not to be trusted.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near goats while wearing indigo trousers and balancing four tin spheres on your hands.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never speak at dusk.