Xinlatcun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, fussy dragon.

Xinlatcun created vertebrates three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xinlatcun, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Xinlatcun, he will turn you into a rat.

Xinlatcun's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Xinlatcun's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch oil while tainted.

2. Pray only in firelight.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xinlatcun.

5. Never feed strawberries to squirrels while wearing kilts.