Tartunnur is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, generous weasel.

Tartunnur created Asia three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tartunnur, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tartunnur, she will remove you from existence.

Tartunnur's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Tartunnur's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow manatees to witness sacred rites.

2. Do not wear gray clothing.

3. Always obey Tartunnur's priests.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching lead.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.