Arpgidzanxen is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, two-faced clam.

Arpgidzanxen created a Higgs boson four billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpgidzanxen, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Arpgidzanxen, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Arpgidzanxen's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Arpgidzanxen's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Arpgidzanxen.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never gather eight bats near towers.

5. Never mix gooseberries with blood.