Gidwitkenstipominfon is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, uncaring finch.

Gidwitkenstipominfon created water five million years ago.

If you believe in Gidwitkenstipominfon, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gidwitkenstipominfon, it will turn you into a plant.

Gidwitkenstipominfon's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Gidwitkenstipominfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Gidwitkenstipominfon in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never wear magenta boots.

5. Never remain bowed at midday.