Nellfagvan is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, wise raccoon.

Nellfagvan created the planet Venus eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nellfagvan, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nellfagvan, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Nellfagvan's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Nellfagvan's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never adorn your back with mauve markings.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nellfagvan.

4. Nellfagvan must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Heed all dreams.