Farhimtarg is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, witless walrus.

Farhimtarg created bats two billion years ago.

If you believe in Farhimtarg, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Farhimtarg, he will turn you into a dog.

Farhimtarg's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Farhimtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always help sick sheep.

3. Never think about optics.

4. Farhimtarg loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

5. Retreat if nine ducks approach from the north.