Dagfiding is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, contented aardvark.

Dagfiding created an atom seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dagfiding, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dagfiding, it will torture you forever.

Dagfiding's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Dagfiding's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always remove scarves before entering holy places.

3. Never talk about frogs.

4. Never prepare lentils during summer.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.