Cenfedtan is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, pitiless turtle.

Cenfedtan created oxygen six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cenfedtan, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Cenfedtan, he will turn you into a snail.

Cenfedtan's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Cenfedtan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

2. Always act with purity.

3. Never talk about special relativity near swans while wearing white scarves.

4. Pray only in moonlight.

5. Always look after injured aardvarks.