Flatarfcem is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, bad-tempered seal.

Flatarfcem created everything that exists two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flatarfcem, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Flatarfcem, it will throw large rocks at you.

Flatarfcem's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Flatarfcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near aardvarks while wearing violet tights.

2. Never speak at midnight.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near eagles while wearing cyan skirts and balancing six aluminium spheres on your feet.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.