Flabfiglad is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, unjust gnu.

Flabfiglad created an electron six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabfiglad, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flabfiglad, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Flabfiglad's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Flabfiglad's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to cruelty.

2. Never stain your legs with red.

3. Never gather five capybaras near walls.

4. Do not contemplate dark energy during the night.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.