Nullyakyok is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, vain goose.

Nullyakyok created light seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nullyakyok, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nullyakyok, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Nullyakyok's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Nullyakyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat onions on holy days.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Never go into violet rooms.

5. Hide from fawn sharks for they are unholy.