Gedmegyarp is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, witty gorilla.

Gedmegyarp created the Sun five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gedmegyarp, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gedmegyarp, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gedmegyarp's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Gedmegyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never speak of fate in the presence of strangers.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gedmegyarp.

5. Hide from green dogs for they are unholy.