Gembinmis Fengetbadnakontmotsanhud is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, caring cat.

Gembinmis Fengetbadnakontmotsanhud created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Gembinmis Fengetbadnakontmotsanhud, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gembinmis Fengetbadnakontmotsanhud, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Gembinmis Fengetbadnakontmotsanhud's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Gembinmis Fengetbadnakontmotsanhud's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of chaos in the presence of children.

2. Never mix pineapples with blood.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never gather eight rats near wells.