Wanzagtikfot is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, awe-inspiring hippopotamus.

Wanzagtikfot created the Andromeda Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wanzagtikfot, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wanzagtikfot, it will refuse to believe in you.

Wanzagtikfot's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Wanzagtikfot's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not speak about grapes.

3. Never touch water while blessed.

4. Hide if four bats approach from the north.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.