Kadbepcab is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, confident gerbil.

Kadbepcab created the universe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Kadbepcab, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kadbepcab, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kadbepcab's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Kadbepcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about spacetime.

2. Heed all visions.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Erect five gold sculptures of Kadbepcab on top of important buildings.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.