Rutsitflan is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, selfish lobster.

Rutsitflan created vertebrates five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutsitflan, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Rutsitflan, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Rutsitflan's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Rutsitflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Never curse while facing west.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never speak of fate in the presence of children.