Dagditcunmip is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, kind porpoise.

Dagditcunmip created everything that exists nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dagditcunmip, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dagditcunmip, she will turn you into a rock.

Dagditcunmip's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Dagditcunmip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

2. Pray only in shadows.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always wash your neck before prayer.