Metbed is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, narcissistic walrus.

Metbed created tapeworms three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metbed, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Metbed, he will jump up and down on your head.

Metbed's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Metbed's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not fashion tools from nickel.

3. Hide if six shrews approach from the north.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Metbed.

5. Never hop in the presence of elders.