Hindapxuc is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unsympathetic cow.

Hindapxuc created viruses five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hindapxuc, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hindapxuc, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Hindapxuc's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Hindapxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Hide if five porpoises approach from the north.

4. Always wash your arms before prayer.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.