Vedbiftail Gigsasbast Betjadbat is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, amazing aardvark.

Vedbiftail Gigsasbast Betjadbat created the planet Venus three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vedbiftail Gigsasbast Betjadbat, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vedbiftail Gigsasbast Betjadbat, it will remove you from existence.

Vedbiftail Gigsasbast Betjadbat's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Vedbiftail Gigsasbast Betjadbat's Holy Commandments

1. Vedbiftail Gigsasbast Betjadbat loves bats, so they must be respected.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Do not bounce at forests.

4. Never go into purple rooms.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.