Cepfonbon is a god.

She takes the form of a large, unfair cow.

Cepfonbon created oxygen four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cepfonbon, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cepfonbon, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Cepfonbon's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Cepfonbon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near badgers while wearing turquoise trousers.

2. Never chant near squirrels.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Always obey Cepfonbon's priests.