Yarpnatwod is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, moody squirrel.

Yarpnatwod created the Black Eye Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpnatwod, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yarpnatwod, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Yarpnatwod's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Yarpnatwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to great tits while wearing indigo stockings.

2. Always help turtles.

3. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

4. Never speak aloud of numbers.

5. Do not place spinach upon stone.