Parkhonvinpas is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, tranquil bat.

Parkhonvinpas created the Large Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkhonvinpas, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Parkhonvinpas, it will come to you in dreams.

Parkhonvinpas' most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Parkhonvinpas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Always share oranges with strangers, but never with moths.

3. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

4. Always remove skirts before entering holy places.

5. Never discuss chromosomes in public assemblies.