Zighamtan is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, duplicitous hippopotamus.

Zighamtan created everything that exists nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Zighamtan, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Zighamtan, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Zighamtan's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Zighamtan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at stars.

2. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

3. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Zighamtan in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always remove coats before entering holy places.