Kikmiggid Gabarploop is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, self-confident cat.

Kikmiggid Gabarploop created an up quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Kikmiggid Gabarploop, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kikmiggid Gabarploop, he will not invite you to parties.

Kikmiggid Gabarploop's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Kikmiggid Gabarploop's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never mention voles.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

5. Never point your arms toward the east during prayer.