Gumgabgep is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, almighty hyena.

Gumgabgep created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumgabgep, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gumgabgep, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Gumgabgep's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Gumgabgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never mix parsnips with blood.

4. Never bounce near snakes.

5. Never look in ponds.