Fatzedjab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, witty squid.

Fatzedjab created vertebrates six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatzedjab, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fatzedjab, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Fatzedjab's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Fatzedjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never record names.

5. Shun those given to sloth.