Batfum is a god.

He takes the form of a small, unsympathetic hydra.

Batfum created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Batfum, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Batfum, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Batfum's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Batfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of order in the presence of children.

2. Never sit in the presence of eagles.

3. Never remain standing at dusk.

4. Do not sing at forests.

5. Never think about planets.