Popjantail is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, amazing wren.

Popjantail created a quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Popjantail, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Popjantail, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Popjantail's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Popjantail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

2. Run away if nine manatees approach from the north.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Always obey Popjantail's priests.