Bepcapladkopjapjadnartdot is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, thoughtless pig.

Bepcapladkopjapjadnartdot created energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Bepcapladkopjapjadnartdot, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bepcapladkopjapjadnartdot, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bepcapladkopjapjadnartdot's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Bepcapladkopjapjadnartdot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never adorn your arms with fawn markings.

4. Never stain your feet with orange.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near dogs while wearing pink shoes and balancing five gold spheres on your neck.