Hugtofcusscam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, annoying armadillo.

Hugtofcusscam created the planet Jupiter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hugtofcusscam, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hugtofcusscam, it will torture you forever.

Hugtofcusscam's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Hugtofcusscam's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Do not gather at towers at dawn.

4. Do not speak about garlic.

5. Do not study archaea on holy days.