Yokdadren is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, dishonest tortoise.

Yokdadren created snails seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yokdadren, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yokdadren, he will destroy your home planet.

Yokdadren's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Yokdadren's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not study eukaryotes on holy days.

3. Never mix beans with ash.

4. Always obey Yokdadren's priests.

5. Do not chop down trees.