Yarp is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, omniscient narwhal.

Yarp created everything that exists six million years ago.

If you believe in Yarp, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yarp, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Yarp's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Yarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill geese.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yarp.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Hide from pink gulls for they are unholy.

5. Do not contemplate solid mechanics during the night.