Him is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, witty wombat.

Him created dark energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Him, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Him, she will throw large rocks at you.

Him's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Him's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

2. Hide if eight eagles approach from the south.

3. Run away if three ducks approach from the east.

4. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

5. Never adorn your chest with purple markings.