Loopnurtgum is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, dishonourable cow.

Loopnurtgum created the world six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loopnurtgum, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Loopnurtgum, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Loopnurtgum's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Loopnurtgum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not record names concerning nebulae.

2. You must never eat spinach.

3. Run away if four badgers approach from the south.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.