Flagdamnut is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, sage sheep.

Flagdamnut created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagdamnut, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Flagdamnut, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Flagdamnut's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Flagdamnut's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never travel toward the south during spring.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. You must never eat limes.

5. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.