Bestcubvan Tafbimhud is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, vain hydra.

Bestcubvan Tafbimhud created the planet Earth nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bestcubvan Tafbimhud, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bestcubvan Tafbimhud, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bestcubvan Tafbimhud's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Bestcubvan Tafbimhud's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Bestcubvan Tafbimhud on top of all buildings.

2. Never sprint in winter.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not wear lead on your body.

5. Pray only in moonlight.