Flypomtarpomflabbaplatjam is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, omnipotent sheep.

Flypomtarpomflabbaplatjam created everything that exists nine million years ago.

If you believe in Flypomtarpomflabbaplatjam, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flypomtarpomflabbaplatjam, she will turn you into a tree.

Flypomtarpomflabbaplatjam's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Flypomtarpomflabbaplatjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never allow foxes to witness sacred rites.

3. Always help nematodes.

4. Do not place bananas upon stone.

5. Pray only in darkness.