Baglabtimwodmonontbeg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, happy armadillo.

Baglabtimwodmonontbeg created a photon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Baglabtimwodmonontbeg, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Baglabtimwodmonontbeg, he will not care.

Baglabtimwodmonontbeg's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Baglabtimwodmonontbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near foxes while wearing brown shoes and balancing nine titanium spheres on your arms.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never stain your head with purple.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.