Vedbessxin is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, ruthless guinea pig.

Vedbessxin created the Small Magellanic Cloud three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedbessxin, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vedbessxin, she will send minions to preach to you.

Vedbessxin's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Vedbessxin's Holy Commandments

1. Geese are not to be trusted.

2. Never feed apples to cats while wearing brown hats.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never adorn your neck with black markings.

5. Never wear boots.