Jiphabyat is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, vain donkey.

Jiphabyat created the planet Jupiter two million years ago.

If you believe in Jiphabyat, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jiphabyat, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Jiphabyat's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Jiphabyat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near dogs while wearing turquoise jumpers and balancing eight platinum spheres on your neck.

2. Never think about nucleic acids.

3. Never eat spinach.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.