Monmatcanran is a god.

She takes the form of a large, tiresome mouse.

Monmatcanran created the Virgo Supercluster six billion years ago.

If you believe in Monmatcanran, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Monmatcanran, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Monmatcanran's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Monmatcanran's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

2. Run away from gray geese, for they are unholy.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always help pigs in need.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.