Bomlanbomfit is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, benevolent walrus.

Bomlanbomfit created Mount Everest eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bomlanbomfit, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bomlanbomfit, it will remove you from existence.

Bomlanbomfit's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Bomlanbomfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Hide from gray porpoises for they are unholy.

3. Do not take Bomlanbomfit's name in vain.

4. Put Bomlanbomfit first in all things.

5. Always wear violet.