Bapnakhan is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, overgenerous fish.

Bapnakhan created oxygen two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapnakhan, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bapnakhan, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bapnakhan's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Bapnakhan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bapnakhan.

4. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not place limes upon stone.