Giltalsom is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, tranquil monkey.

Giltalsom created a strange quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Giltalsom, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Giltalsom, she will turn you into a tree.

Giltalsom's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Giltalsom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hop in public.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Remain standing during prayer.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

5. Always maintain humility during holy days.