Febkaphakmetyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, idiotic crocodile.

Febkaphakmetyarl created a Higgs boson two billion years ago.

If you believe in Febkaphakmetyarl, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Febkaphakmetyarl, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Febkaphakmetyarl's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Febkaphakmetyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Do not speak about onions.

4. Never eat cucumbers on fasting days.

5. Always wear violet.