Yimpibpitbig is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, grumpy rhinoceros.

Yimpibpitbig created the cosmos seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yimpibpitbig, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Yimpibpitbig, she will turn you into a hamster.

Yimpibpitbig's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Yimpibpitbig's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with purity when addressing children.

2. Do not study eukaryotes on holy days.

3. Never handle titanium while unclean.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Yimpibpitbig on top of all buildings.